How to Write an Anniversary Speech

Twenty-five years. Forty. Fifty. However long it’s been, a wedding anniversary party is a chance to celebrate something that doesn’t happen by accident: two people who’ve stuck together through house moves, school runs, holidays that went wrong and arguments about the thermostat.

If you’ve been asked to say a few words, you’re in for one of the nicest speeches there is. Nobody needs to be roasted, nothing has to be thanked to the penny, and the room is already full of goodwill. You just need to tell their story.

• How long it should be
• How to write it, step by step
• A simple structure to follow
• Anniversary names, from silver to platinum
• If you’re one of the couple
• Humour, and what to leave out
• Common questions

How long should an anniversary speech be?

Three to four minutes is ideal. That’s around 400 to 500 words. Long enough to tell their story properly, short enough to keep everyone with you.

Length	Spoken time	Words (approx.)
Short	About 2 minutes	260
Standard	3 to 4 minutes	450
Longer	About 5 minutes	650

At a golden or diamond anniversary there may be several speakers: a son, a daughter, a grandchild, and sometimes one of the couple. If so, agree who’s telling which story, and keep each speech short.

Writing an anniversary speech, step by step

1. Get the story of how they met. Ask them, or ask whoever remembers it best. Where, when, who made the first move. It’s almost always the best bit of the speech.
2. Dig out the wedding details. The church or register office, the weather, the dress, what went wrong on the day. Old photos help enormously.
3. Map out their life together. The first house, the children, the jobs, the moves, the caravan holidays. Just the main chapters.
4. Find what makes them them. Who does the cooking? Who’s in charge of the TV remote? What do they still bicker about after 40 years? These little details make people laugh and nod.
5. Choose one moment that sums up the marriage. The flowers every Friday. The way they still hold hands on a walk. How they got through a hard time together.
6. Think about the family they’ve built. The children, grandchildren and friends in the room are part of their story too.
7. End with a toast to the couple. By name, with the anniversary.
8. Read it aloud and time it. Then cut anything that drags.

A simple anniversary speech structure

1. The hook (30 seconds). A line that sums them up. “Mum and Dad have been married for 40 years, and they’ve been arguing about the thermostat for 39 of them.”
2. How they met (1 minute). The story, told well. What each of them thought at the time.
3. Their life together (1 minute). The main chapters: the wedding, the homes, the family, the adventures.
4. What they’re like together (1 minute). The habits, the in-jokes, the moment that sums up the marriage.
5. What they’ve given everyone (30 seconds). What the family and friends have learned from them.
6. The toast (15 seconds). “Please raise your glasses to Jean and Alan, and 40 wonderful years.”

Struggling to fit 40 years into four minutes? Our anniversary speech writer asks about the couple, how they met and your favourite stories, then writes three versions for you to choose from. You can read the opening for free before deciding.

Anniversary names, from silver to platinum

Each big anniversary has a traditional name, and it makes a lovely thread to weave through a speech.

Anniversary	Traditional name	An idea for the speech
1st	Paper	The first chapter of their story
10th	Tin	Built to last, and a few dents along the way
20th	China	Delicate, but they’ve never been broken
25th	Silver	Halfway to gold, and shining
30th	Pearl	Something precious, built up layer by layer
40th	Ruby	Deep, rich and rare
45th	Sapphire	Strong enough to last a lifetime
50th	Golden	Half a century, worth its weight in gold
60th	Diamond	Unbreakable
65th	Blue sapphire	A true rarity
70th	Platinum	The rarest of all

Use the name once or twice, maybe in the opening and the toast. Any more and it starts to sound like a greetings card.

If you’re one of the couple

Sometimes it’s the husband or wife who stands up to speak. It can be the most moving speech of the night.

• Thank everyone first. For coming, for the party, and especially anyone who organised it.
• Tell your side of how you met. The room may have heard the official version. They’ll love yours, especially if it’s a little different.
• Be honest about the journey. You don’t need to go into detail, but a line like “We haven’t always had it easy” makes the rest ring true.
• Turn and speak to your partner. Even just for the last minute. Tell them what they’ve meant to you. Everyone in the room will be holding their breath.
• Toast your partner, or the family. “To Jean, the best decision I ever made.”

If you’re worried about getting emotional, write the heartfelt bit at the end and have a glass of water ready. A pause is fine. It’s often the moment people remember most.

Humour, and what to leave out

Anniversary humour is gentle and affectionate. The best laughs come from the little habits every long marriage collects.

What works:

• The never-ending debates. The thermostat. The satnav. Whose turn it is to put the bins out.
• The division of labour. “Dad cooks, Mum does the crossword, and they both claim to do the washing up.”
• How things have changed. Their first home, their first car, what a night out cost in 1975.
• The proposal or the wedding day disaster. The rain, the missing ring, the best man who forgot his speech.

What to leave out

• Rough patches and separations. Even if everyone knows. Today is a celebration.
• Exes and previous marriages. Not even in passing.
• “Ball and chain” jokes. They’re tired, and they jar at an occasion that celebrates choosing each other.
• Jokes about age or health. Keep it about the marriage, not the years.
• Anything about their private life. The grandchildren are listening.

Want a little help?

Decades of marriage is a lot to fit into a few minutes. Our anniversary speech writer can help you pick the right moments.

Tell us about the couple, which anniversary it is, how they met and a story or two. We write three versions of your speech, from mostly funny to mostly heartfelt, all built around your own memories. You read how it opens for free, and only pay £9.99 if you love it.

Use it as it is, or as a starting point to make it your own.

Anniversary speech questions

More speech guides

Got another speech to write? Read our guides to the birthday speech and retirement speech.